Yesterday evening I realized that Johanna is still my love and I want to focus on getting together with her again. Our joint problem has been that we haven’t been talking with each other and during the night I tried to bring up everything I have been holding back during the last years. I did this via a long email (yes I know it is not talking about it but it is a start, right?!) and after I wrote it I felt very good. I felt relieved. Johanna’s worry is that she is not my first choice, but rather something that comes in second place when there is nothing better around. But she is wrong in having that worry. I have now realized that she is the right woman for me and I very eager to try to find that feeling of real love we had for each 12 years ago. I must say that I actually feel very good.
After sleeping 7 hours I felt really rested and got up full of energy. For the first time in a month I actually felt like working. I had to work today as I had to hand in a final version of a paper for the MMNS 2003 conference in Belfast, where I am going in september. For dinner I had a guest, one of my most eager blog readers, my graduate student Mikael Drugge and after that I planned to go down town to listen to the Gültzau rock festival, but I got stuck with some emailing and landed in the sofa before the TV with a laptop, surfing and watching bad movies.