I will be gone Monday until Wednesday evening on a seminar in Brändön. It is the final seminar with sleep over in my management education course, but I cannot really say that I want to go 🙁 I would rather sit under my corkoak and program on my SIP prototype. It is like all the work related issues are washing over me. Issues I am not really interested in or care for. Being a researcher is very fun. Being a research leader with the financial responsibility is rather boring and creates a lot of anxiety (for me). For me getting funding for research feels like begging and I don’t like doing that. In the industry it can be compared with living of stock money but the main difference there is that eventually the goal is to live of the profit. I.e. do something good that the market want then you don’t have to beg anymore. That is unfortunately not the case in the research world. The individual researchers can get rich (spinoff companies, patents etc.) but that doesn’t make the situation easier for the research group (unless personal profit is put back into the research). The latter is really a Swedish problem where the inventor owns the results, whereas in the USA the university owns the results. The Swedish academic system is a bit strange where if a researcher is successful that only creates envy instead of admiration and the researcher doesn’t really get anything “for it” (unless s/he commercializes the results on their own).
Anybody interested in hiring an assistant professor in Media Technology and Chief Science Officer at Marratech?

I have just put a child to sleep. My child. She is so beautiful, lying there in the light from the lava lamp. The light goes up and it goes down as the wax gathers at the bottom of the bottle covering the lamp. She turns this way, she turns that way, she checks if I am there and then finally, she is really asleep and I can leave. Do I really have to leave? Can’t I just sleep there, right next to the princess? Well, I have another princess to take care of to night. Good night!

Giving bloods makes me feel good, but I did feel fatigued and aggravated during the cycle home. I recruited Johanna today and got an extra 50:- as a thanks. T was running around the place between me leaving blood and J in the testing room for the newcomers. Nobody seemed to mind my little critter running around and being cute.
Me and T had planned to visit the icebreaker Frej today (after a great tip from Jalle) but unfortunately the two last yours were sold out so we were only allowed to view the 4 icebreakers from the outside. Instead T and I hid from the rain down in the harbour and did some creative drawing, on the ground and other creative places 🙂 Tovah even found out that she could draw and stones and in places where I couldn’t reach.
After that Tovah got a small burger and an ice cream and we headed for the blood central, then Kvantum and then here I am.
I must admit that I feel good.
By the way, T woke me up at 5.30 this morning and after tossing for 30 minutes I got up and showered. Then J came and pulled me back into bed and we slept until 0900. I am really glad she did!! When I awake that early, it seems like all problems get ten times bigger and I get queasy feelings in my stomach and my chest and I cannot sleep. Later when I get up at an reasonable time the problems are all gone, well they are still there, I just don’t care anymore 🙂