What is actually important in life?
Money? We have a society (west world anyhow) that is based on consumption. We work very hard to earn more money so we either can buy more stuff or just save it in the bank for a rainy day. Is this REALLY important?
Status? Many persons, me included, want some kind of status. We want to be recognized and not be marginalized.”Do not forget me!” Or at least this is something I wanted very badly until very recently. Is this REALLY important?
Legacy? I guess many persons want to create something. To be able to look back when we are getting old and to see that I made a difference. I contributed to something. I was an important building block in society. Is this REALLY important?
Friends? To have somebody to really be able to talk with. Somebody that you can share anything with. Somebody that you can share your most inner secrets with. When you find such people, keep them. Whatever you do, do not let them slip away. Especially if you have a hard time finding them in the first place. Is this REALLY important?
Family? Being alone is never fun. A family is a must, or is it? Can one live alone and still be happy? I have my whole life had someone to life with. When I left my child home I shared an apartment with two other guys for about 5 months before I moved into my own apartment. That only lasted about 2-3 months before I moved in with my wife. So I must admit that I have never really tried out how it is to live by myself. I guess I must see myself as lucky and hope that I never get the chance to try it out. Is this REALLY important?
Children? I have one child, my soon 3 year old daughter Tovah. Getting a child really changed my life. You really feel that somebody is dependent on you and you have to be there. The other day she told me “dad, you write to much.” I.e. her notion of me working too much. I have to admit one thing, when she was born I didn’t feel like this at all and it took a couple of weeks before the dime fell down. Is this REALLY important?
Love? To have someone to love. To get a fuzzy feeling in the stomach when you see the person. Many great songs and poems have been written about love. Is this REALLY important?
My synthesis is that all boils down to getting a number of base stones for creating a fulfilling life. I guess we get some loop here as it then leads to “what is is important in a fulfilling life?”. A good start is to feel like a whole person. Being able to get good contact with other human beings and being able to share your thoughts and feelings. The reader can perhaps get a feeling of me putting a requirement on myself here (the top-dog vs. under-dog discussion again) where I HAVE to do something or the other but the really important thing is to be in the present and not look ahead all the time. It also means being able to get in contact with your anger, sorrow, sexuality and joy. There has to be a balance between these for a person to be able to feel like a whole person.
It is time for a reflection on the process here. A couple of months ago I would not been able to write this or even sort this out in my head. I guess I am improving as a human being and getting closer to becoming a whole person.
Many of the points listed above are really important, of course some of them are not important at all. Everybody has to decide for themselves what is important and what is not…